sorrow not.

i just don't understand me. i wasn't upset about everything. well maybe i did, but that's just it. thought i'm gonna cry and whine and be such a stupid emo girl but obviously i am not. i'm feelin' strange. something isn't right somewhere. no, i mean, i'm not acting all tough, but it's true i don't feel anything. is it because i'm the one who dump this friendship, so i'm not that sad? how can i not be sad? serious i don't get it. but whatever it is, i'm glad i'm fine.

tough girl i am, kann?

:)

it's me, little ain~

Happy Birthday, babe! :)

dear taha, happy 22nd birthday!
kau dah tua. hahaha :)
aku doakan kau dipanjangkan umor, dimurahkan rezeki.
semoga selamat dunia akhirat.
selamat berpraktikum.
heeee :)

bestfriend forever,
ainzulkefli.

off to my in-laws lah sangat ;p

i went to see my best friend today. huhu it was great! seeing a friend that you love and miss everyday when you're away. we talked about thingss. things that i can't share with somebody else i presume. just can't stop talking, telling this and that, laughed our heart out, giggled over silly things. but yeah, we did. and i'm not gonna see her again till Jun 21st. sobsobsob. but it's okay, we got another err 3 months (kot) together. we are going to have fun. meet every weekend, call thru skype, chatting kat ym, and everything. just wait :D

it's me, little ain~

Deknaa

T___T

deknaa suka tau buat entry pasal dah nak abes belaja ni. ain dah touching gila.

sayang deknaa!

ainzulkefli.

Priceless

Because memories last a lifetime.

Jamuan Batch 08/09.

Malam Lestary Sime Darby.

Grooming Workshop.

We remember moments.

it's me, little ain~

to whom it may concern

Dear you,

thank you for everything that you have done for me and for my friends. frankly speaking, you have been a very good sister and a very good friend too, no doubt about that. but then, your good deeds and generosity is not a licence that permits you to talk about other people, especially my room mate. you always talk about people, you know. it wasn't my intention to make a big fuss of it in the very first place, but when you start to point finger towards me, trying to put all the blames onto me, i don't think i can take it. not this time. not anymore. you blamed me for things that you did. it's not good. it reflects that you can't take other's opinions and criticism. that's you. i can't take it when every time we meet, you always find something bad to say about my room mate. hello, she's my room mate! which part of her that caused you trouble? i don't know what is so bad about her. she cares for me. and at least, she's not hypocrite. you know, all this time, we never have the guts to say it to your face, because we respect you. we listen to every single word you have to say about your feelings, about your pathetic love life, about guys, about what a loser you are, about everything. but you never respect us. never listen to us. and now, since you have the guts to say it to my face, i guess i have to spit everything back to you. the issue here is not about me, showing my true colors and what not. if that is what you think about me, you should know that i am more than capable of saying every mean word straight to your face because it's me. i am mean. but due to respect, i didn't. i just keep it to myself. but it's okay. i'm sure, you will be talking about this forever. but it's none of my concern, because you always talk bad things about people. now i know why people don't make friend with you. now i know why people despise you. i'm glad when my room mate confronted you. it's a right thing to do. i hope you'll change after this. please change, for you own good. if not, you'll never know. i know we won't be in talking terms anymore after this. and you just have your room mate to talk to after this. the one that you always say this and that to us. never ending. never been good enough for you. you talk about my room mate when you are with me. then, you talk about me when you are with her. in fact, you talk about our friend too. someone who is very close to you, the one that patiently listening to your stories all this while. you never know how to appreciate people, don't you? you and your never ending complaints about everyone, because you think you are the best. i know you won't be reading this. but if you happen to see this post, i really want you to know that i thank you for everything, for your good deeds especially. we can still be friend thou you talk behind my back. well, that's normal, isn't it? i feel sorry for you. everything you did for me are fully appreciated.

Yours sincerely,

Nur' Ain Zulkefli.

entry serious.

status Facebook semalam,

"Does a great guy still need a compliment?"

and just now, i received this comment,

"Compliment make one feel appreciated and encourage them to progress. It can be in any form including that of smile, without which no one can survive. But the amount of compliment should be in proportion to the act. Excessive compliment is tantamount to humiliation".

and after reading this, i was like, "Oh no! Oh yes! OmaiGod! what should i reply? what should i say?" sangat terkejot bila dapat comment tu. it's very fascinating i couldn't say a word. it sounded so, err what's the right word? ilmiah, perhaps? yeap, sangat ilmiah bunyi itu. sangat tersanjung. entah, it's hard to describe. but one thing for sure, the one that posted this comment is a great guy. FULLSTOP.

current Facebook profile picture.

by Najmiah Rahim.

it's me, little ain~

impression

i talked to someone last night. 

he said he never sees me as a humble person.

i think that hurts. 

huhu :)

good night!

it's me, little ain~

hai readers :)

it's me, again. this is my second entry for today. i'm sorry i just couldn't wait to tell you this. not about what i'm going to tell you like i said in the previous post. that one you will have to wait until sunday okayy :)

this is about something else. about my daten. my lovely, sweet daten. you know, the day i posted this post, she has just discovered the happy days widget at the bottom of this blog. so, she was thinking that i'm actually with someone at the moment and it has been two years where she found it on day 729. and you know what? the best part of this story is that, she actually posted an entry. nope. not one. but two entries. about it. about me. ohmaigucci! i was so shocked to see my link inside her blog. and the blog happened to be her tumblr, not blogspot. ohhh ain't it sweet? well, i don't want to simply put her link in this entry (just yet), but i'm going to copy every single sweet word that she has chose to be put inside her blog. thank you, daten. i love you so so much! :)

well, lets start with the first one.

*********************

Love needs passion. Love needs companion. Love needs you and I.

A friend of mine asked me one day do I have a boyfriend? I took a minute to think of the answer. He never cared. He never asked before. And I never said I had one. To be honest, I am happy you asked that. Now I know he cares about me too eventhough he knows I dont like his very new unintelligent girlfriend. And I want the whole world to know that he is my very very very only and lovely bestfriend ever.

Okay now different story. It has been two years they both have been dating together. I got the news on her 729 days. I wish I can hug her now and say congrats my lovely Ain!!

Anyway, I am single but not available.

see. sweet tak? siyes rase macam nak nanges tau bile terbaca this thing. ini pon aku ambik link kat fidjeet tau sebab daten link kan kat situ. then, ada someone yang klik on it, then aku boleh trace. kalo tak, takkan tau sampai bila bila pon. huuuu :D

*******************

move on to the next post.

I posted yesterday about my girlfriend celebrating her 730 days dating together. Actually, it was not meeting up somebody but having a relationship with her blog. http://icemocholatte.blogspot.com/ Oh soo shweeeeettt!!

 

An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair just about anything - Lynn Johnston.

Dear Ain,

Congrats on your 2nd anniversary! Hahaha. A very important date on your life, let your life will always full of happiness. Dont be scared. When it comes to love, believe in yourself ya. Never believe in Alexithymia! :)

Anyway, datin tertipu juga akhirnya. Hehe.

Lesson of the day: Never jump straight to the conclusion. Love you Little Ain!

hahahaha. i feel like crying and laughing out loud while reading this. how thoughtful. kann? 

*******************

well, what more can i say?

thank you tau daten for these beautiful entries. i wish i have a better way of saying thank you and i love you and how i appreciate this friendship. you know, those days were one of the best things that ever happened to me. they were just wonderful. i sincerely and strongly hope that we will stay this way. care for each other, though we are wayy apart. i miss you and friends. i do. InsyaAllah, i'll try to make it on 11th February and go to our ex faculty, to be with you. all of you. pray for me :)

quite an essay i made up here, isn't it? heeee :D so, before i stop, i just leave you daten's links for both tumblr and blogspot, so that you can visit her. she's a good writer, i can say. and uhh, you might also refer these two entries that i have copied, so that you can get a better picture about what i was trying to tell you. for the first entry, please click here and for the second one, click here. and this is her blogspot's link

until next time babies, please be patient waiting for my good news. 

p/s : dear daten, i believe Alexithymia will be haunting me forever until i wake up and realize how stupid i WAS (and still stupid) to let him go before.  

love.love.love.

it's me, little ain~

make me laugh and happy

it's been two days. i've been watching prison break, and now i'm done with season one LOL. i know, some of you might be laughing out loud reading this. well, i am wayyy outdated you know. with schools and universities all these years. so, i didn't get the chance to get to know this green eyes guy closely. heee :D 

you know, the more i watch it, the more curios i'll be. i want to know whatever happen next and next and next. it's killing me. i sometimes get too emotional i have to admit but not over-acting. heeee :) when it comes to the saspen-saspen scenes, i just can't sit and watch silently. i'll hit the pause button and go head banging to release tension. ha ha! :)

for the past one week, i did nothing good to the family, especially ibu. because i didn't bother to move my *** helping her in the kitchen and whatnot. what i did is just sit inside my bedroom, have a sip of teh o panas and stare at the moving creatures inside my laptop screen. i feel bad about myself, but there's nothing i could do about it. i can simply count how many times i'll move from the chair since i woke up until one or two in the morning, when it's time for me to go to bed, crawling for my comforter. 

not only that, i haven't finished working on my Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows and haven't even get the chance to lay my fingers on Tony Parson's. yet.

i think i'm going to loose my weight if i constantly carry on with my new-so-not-healthy-daily-routine. ibu didn't say a word about it, as long as i perform my duty as a Muslim. that matters the most, isn't it? what else i am going to do anyway. i usually not into movies. i prefer reading the most. but now, i guess i'm going to need a little change for this  holiday, because i'll need at least weeks to finish all the four seasons.

i haven't got out from the house since the day i got here. it's been ten days now. it's raining anyway, no way i'll be awayy from house. but then, i'm going to see my besties this Thursday no matter what. ohh, i can't wait for it! we didn't meet during hari raya (both) and now, it's time. i can't wait for another five months to see them.

speaking of which, i'm happy for my babies, kak anish and fiza. because at last, they made it! to see each other again, after 2 years and a half. i'm so happy for you, honey! and i'll make sure that we will find a right time to see each other again okayy, the four of us. we'll be chit-chatting until morning. and we'll be making memories again, yeayy!! i miss you guys, so so much! :) jum gi Anggerik Deli. nak?

my sayangs! :) jeles nak mati. *head banging* you too look gorgeous.

until next time.

i'll be in touch, readers :) *errrr??*

miss the two of you.

little ain~

pria itu.

errr hai. again :)

budak ain mintak maaf sebab belom boleh tido. tadi cakap nak tido. tapi lepas makan kek, mana boleh tido kan? heeee :D

tadi masuk toilet nak gosok gigi *true story okayy*, pastu entah camane aku teringat balek time lepas spm dulu. pulak dah, nak bantai reminisce segala tengah tengah malam ni, heh! serius tak boleh nak tahan tahan dah nak kena bagitau jugak, takot lupa.

ni zaman innocent lagi la ni. lepas dah abes spm dulu dulu, abah anta aku pegi buat kursus komputer kat Inforana Kolej. pastu buat short course untuk English class sekali. lebih kurang tiga bulan la kan. dalam kelas komputer tu, takde apa nak cita sangat la kan. sebab memang boring. dia cuma ajar yang basic tu la. camane nak menaip dengan betol sume tu. tu yang aku memang terer menaip. hahaha penipu paling besar! taip tu ye la boleh, tapi tak betol laa penggunaan jarinya. so, aku tak layak jadi secretary. so, takleh kawen dengan dato'. kan? heee :)

point nak bagitaunya ialah short course English class tu. dalam kelas tu ada sorang laki, nama dia Badrulhisyam. haa aku bantai tulis nama penuh dia sebab aku confirm dia dengan aku dah takkan contact balek dah sebab dah terputus hubungan beberapa tahun yang lalu lepas masing masing dah completed the course, then pergi matrik and whatnot.

dalam group A ni, means kelas aku ni, ada tiga orang laki je tau. yang sorang tu si Bad ni. sorang lagi Amer (sekarang dia kat Alam, bantai pergi ngorat dengan awek cun kat Cape Town), lagi sorang tu undefined. tatau sapa dia sebab dia memang freakk. tak banyak cakap. tapi dia memang excellent. kalo tak silap aku, dia straight A spm aritu. sekarang dah missing in action.

so, si Bad ni, dia friendly tau. dengan semua kawan kawan pondan perempuan dalam group A tu dia cakap. tapi yang aku pelik bin ajaib dan hairan, dia tak pernah langsung nak cakap dengan aku. tiap kali aku tanya soalan ke apa, memang tamau jawab. aku ni risau laa, kot kot dalam mulut dia tu ada jongkong emas ke apa, takot jatuh bergolek kalo jawab soalan aku, susah pulak nak kutip balek, ye dak? pastu, kalo aku pass kertas, sengaja buat buat tak nampak? grrr! nak cakap buta, memang spek pon tak pakai. ish ish ish. ini olang pon ada kaa?

then, one day, aku tak tahan, aku tanya lecturer aku tu (sekarang jadi best friend, dah ada anak sorang) asal si Bad ni tak pernah nak cakap dengan aku. pandang pon tak nak tau. sedih aii nyah. then, lecturer aku cakap, "dia ada masalah tu.." grrrr! masalah hapenya dengan orang lain elok je bergelak ketawa riang raya.

then, sampai la one day, aku cuba lagi nak cakap dengan dia. dia diam. pastu tiba tiba dia naik hangen, pandang aku (straight to the eyes tau), pastu dia keluar dari kelas. heh!? what the hal mamat ni?

ghupe ghupenya, tau la aku yang sebenarnya, Bad ni ada masalah hati sikit. bukan barah hati ke apa. cumanya, dia pernah berchenta dan putus di tengah jalan, dengan orang yang bernama Nur Ain, sebijik fotostat muka aku, pastu suara pon merdu macam suara aku ni. si ain tu beralih arah kepada kawan baik dia sendiri. pastu, haku yang jadi mangsa kekejaman rejim zionis? ish ish ish. tak patot tak patot.

then, lepas kejadian tu, lepas teacher dah brain wash kasi kauuu punya, dia dah start boleh cakap dengan aku. boleh gurau. boleh nak ajak gi makan sama sama. ececece! tapi aku tak boleh nak makan dengan dia, sebab aku takot abah marah. hahaha! serius weh. nama lagi baru lepas spm masa tuh, memang sindrom-abah-ada-di-mana-mana-watching-you sangat kuat menghantui aku. jadi, terpaksa la aku tolak pelawaan dia. apekan daya. T_T

dan sekarang, aku tatau la dia kat mana. kalo tak silap, dia dapat matrik Pahang, kot? entah la. lupa dah. mula mula ada lagi contact sikit sikit thru phone (masa zaman aku suka lagi layan hp), tapi since buat asasi kat uitm, aku dah tak pegang hp dah. nak angkat tepon pon payah, ni kan pulak nak melayan mesej. sebab aku memang tak minat. lambat la nak mesej mesej ni.

aku harap, lepas ni dia takkan buat macam tu lagi dah kat sapa sapa yang nama ain. cukupla aku sorang je yang kena. kesian pulak rasanya. mujo la aku ni penyabar, kalo tak, mau gak aku sergah dia, "woii, kau tak nak cakap dengan aku ape kes haa? ko ingat ko bagus sangat ke..?" haaa, itu aku tak tipu. oh tak mungkin! heeee :D

walau manabagaipon, aku doakan dia selamat di sana. tatau la which part of Malaysia he's in now. semoga dia sihat sihat sahaja. semoga sudah selamat berjumpa dengan pengganti ain dulu. mungkin Tuhan dah tunjuk awal awal kat dia dulu yang that ain memang bukan the one for him. maybe ada orang lain yang lebih baik untuk dia. semoga berbahagia :) *errrr aku sedih ke ni? hehe! grrrr*

until then,

current mood : craving for A&W Root Beer Float and iced latte Starbucks.

=)

balek raya nanti, mau minum ni banyak banyak kat KB Mall. siapa mau? jom. cik ain mau belanja. :)

buenas noches!

it's me, little ain~

my apology

well.

i think i've just hurt someone's feeling.

it wasn't my intention at the very first place.

it happens before we become friends.

never thought it will turn out to be this way.

i'm sorry.

:(

i've ruined this friendship. i guess.

what am i suppose to do?

i'm helpless here.

it's me, little ain~

I pray

i wish i could write as good or even better than these two people.

i adore their ways of expressing thoughts and ideas in words and sentences.

they are my TESL friends by the way.

this post is dedicated to my lovely chubby moon and handsome syahmi.

your posts make my days brighter :)

i wish i am better than you both.

with love.

it's me, little ain~

Convocation 2010

selamat malam semua :)

sejuk kan? hujan yang teramat kat sini. ooppss kat sini? kat mane? kat rumah ye kawan kawan. baru je sampai pagi tadi. mau gak aku bantai tido sedas. bukan dua das. aku pon tatau la kenapa aku kurang tido kali ni. selalunya bila sampai rumah, aku takkan bangun sehari tuh. tido macam orang baru lepas habes perang. but anyway, memang satu pencapaian la tu kan. at least aku boleh menepis tuduhan tak bermoral yang orang cakap, sapa sapa yang lahir bulan hujan, memang suka tido. ngeee~ *sebenarnya aku tengah bagi hint ni, if you know what i mean :)*

well, seperti yang aku janjikan entry yang aku sebenarnya tak pasti bila aku akan post tapi aku berjaya buat dengan secepat mungkin. yang telah buat aku penat nak mati pergi pbs sewa baju segala tapi last last ada sponsor lain yang bagi. penat aku berisauan, bersakit kepalaan, bersedihan gara gara tatau nak pakai baju hape time ni.

by the way, sebelom terlupa, ni adalah upacara Perasmian Pembukaan Konvocation Universiti Utara Malaysia kali ke 23, sidang ke 2 tahun 2010. aku di situ sebagai pemegang sepanduk untuk Dewan Penginapan Pelajar SIme Darby yang terchenta ini. that's why baru arini aku sampai rumah. kalo tak, memang minggu lepas lagi aku dah berangkat pulang ke tanah air. ececece! bunyi macam dudok Moscow temankan suami sambung phD. miahahaha :) gedik la kau!

anyway, aku malas dah nak cakap banyak. ngantok yang amat. saket mata dah dok nengok mende alah ni. kalo ada lagi pictures lain, nanti aku upload lagik. kalo aku rajen nak cerita pasal malam gilang gemilang ni, aku citer hokaih.

sukaaa :) cantik gilaaa.

well, ini i like the most :) pic bersama pro-chanselor uum, vice chansellor uum, pengetua Dpp Sime Darby, dan jugak felo.

safuan omar memang paling hot sekali dengan muncung yang boleh kena ikat.

haila haila haila. ini lah aku rase picture terbaik sekali dalam banyak banyak. boleh jugak aku mengabadikan sesuatu yang indah dalam cik belog aku ni kan :)

pic ni aku suka yang amat :) sebab ramai. macam happening gila.

this is my deknaaa.

abang syed budin, presiden Dpp Sime Darby.

sebelum itu, harus aku ucapkan jutaan terima kasih yang tidak terhingga kepada semua pihak yang telah bekerjasama dalam mengerjakan menyiapkan aku malam tu. memang tak terbuat rasanya kalo aku sendiri yang uruskan. thanks to dayang, sebab tolong 'upgrade'kan muka aku sikit. thanks to kak izan untuk baju yang cantek itu. thanks to kak wani for the wedges. memang wedges tu mendapat pujian yang paling kencang rasanya. sebab sepanjang aku tawaf stadium tu, memang orang dok sebot pasal kasut je. then, thanks to ezlin nadia sayang for the selendang yang perfectly matches the baju tu. then, thanks a bunch to afy and lilohoney sebab tolong siapkan tudong. and lastly, thank you all yang telah memberi sokongan moral kepada aku sebelom dan selepas abes perasmian. walaupon aku nak pengsan sakit belakang pakai dengan wedges yang ketinggian membunuh tu, i had fun that night :)

good night everyone!

it's me, little ain~

it's just the rule

kawan lelaki yang kurang kematangannya.

bila jumpa aku,

wajib cerita itu ini.

wajib tayang itu ini.

wajib puji diri sendiri.

wajib dengar cakap dia.

wajib gadoh dengan aku.

wajib cakap aku kampong.

wajib cerita pasal awek suka dia.

wajib buat tatau kalo tanya pasal semayang.

wajib cakap pasal baju tiga helai limapuluhhingget.

*sighing heavily*

setia mendengar.

bilakah sampai masanya untuk kau berhenti bercakap dan bertanyakan aku?

apakah kau akan selamanya bercakap, lalu aku mengangkat kaki beredar pergi?

bukankah dalam setiap perhubungan itu memerlukan keserasian?

perlukan give and take.

fahamilah, wahai kawan.

rindu mereka berdua. moon dan ikram. rindu penang jugak :)
sayang kamu dua orang.

love.hugs.kisses.

it's me, little ain~

Selamat Pengantin Baru, ain kak izi :)

Selamat Tengah Malam dunia :) heeee~

Alhamdulillah, baru je siapkan assignment. i'm free! even though not so free la kan as i have two papers to sit this october 1st.

okay, seperti yang dijanjikan, entry kenduri kawen kak izi pada hari Khamis, 16 september 2010 lepas, bersamaan syawal ke 7. ke sana naik sebuah van dengan sebuah kereta seramai beberapa (belas) lagi yang lain.

sedikit info pasal kak izi la kan. huhuhu aku confirm ni illegal tapi nak jugak bagitau yang basic-basic je eh. kak izi umor dua puluh tiga tahun. student teyl kat maktab penang. camane aku boleh kenal kak izi? sebab maktab tu buat twinning program dengan uum, so kak izi datang sini lah kan, untuk dua tahun. masa aku sem dua, kami sama-sama terpilih untuk jadi facilitator kat agro resort, setiu untuk program Amazing English anjuran Yayasan Terengganu. basically, memang anak Terengganu la suma kat situ kan. setiap ipta kat Semenanjung haros hantar wakil untuk program ni. then, kami bersama-sama membangunkan balek Persatuan Anak Negeri Terengganu di uum terchenta ini. waktu tu, hanya kami sebelas orang sahaja. bayangkan perit jerih kami waktu tu untuk menghidupkan kembali persatuan anak negeri ni yang waktu itu diterajui oleh Abang Jabar, sebagai Yang Di Pertua. dan selepas dua tahun di sini, kak izi dah pon kembali ke maktab untuk setahun lagi pengajian kat sana sebelom grad dan jadi cikgu. dan sebelom sempat menerima segulung ijazah, kak izi berkeputusan untuk menamatkan zaman bujangnya, untuk hidup bersama-sama dengan suaminya, iaitu Mohd Alif Mamat. sangat la sweet ye. bila aku suruh posing nak ambek gambar diorang, mesti jari mereka akan bersulaman. huuuu shahdu pulak hati aku. erk, apa hal aku pulak touching lebih ni kan. anyway, tahniah diucapkan. Selamat Pengantin Baru, Kak Izi dan Abg Alif. semoga bahagia hingga ke anak cucu, bersama ke akhir hayat mengharungi kehidupan yang pastinya payah ini. erk, oke dah la tu kan. aku rasa macam aku ni emcee pulak, dok reveal diorang punya identiti kat diorang punya wedding day. miahahaha :)

anyway, meh la aku akhiri entry tengah malam ini dengan menyakitkan menjamu mata anda sume dengan gambar(-gambar) aku lah yang pastinya kan. enjoiceee! heeee~

itu lah al-kisah tentang majlis kawen itu. semoga kak izi dimurahkan rezeki dengan kadar yang bersegera :) tapi yang pasti bukan dalam masa dua tahun pertama ni kot sebabnya, nanti haroslah ditangguh pengajian sudah hampir habes ini.

ini orang tengah termenung sambil sengih, pikir bila pulak dia nak kawen. vavavavava~

p/s : gambar telah diedit dengan sesuka hati aku je. main hentam aje. banyak lagi picture lain, boleh tengok dalam facebook.

mau naik atas, cek rumet, takot kena kidnap tengan malam ni. heee :)

good night!

it's me, little ain~